Lion vs. Raccoon

I'm cheap. Cat food is not.

This morning I was getting ready for work when Josh, my roommate, excitedly inquired, "Hey Jason, buddy, pal, good morning! May I feed The Lions? Aside from sneezing, it is one of my most favorite activities in all the land."

"Good morning fellow roommate, sir. Yes, you may feed The Lions, but be sure to watch your hand this time. You know how 'bitey' they can be in the morning," I said.

Josh skipped with excitement toward the garage to enter The Lions Den.

I went back to tying my shoes when the back door abruptly opened, causing a breeze to float through the blonde curls on my head.

"Dude, where is the cat food," Josh enquired.

"Uhh, in its usual place, dude. The drawer in the garage next to the kitty bowls," I said.

"I looked there, its gone," Josh said.

Disgruntled, I walked to the garage and looked into the drawer, confirming Josh's discovery.

We walked back toward the house in the back yard, brainstorming on where the bag had walked off to. Were The Lions that hungry? Were we not feeding them enough? Right at that moment, I spotted the dry kitty food bag on the grass in the backyard, with several ripped holes. Not a single morsel of kitty food left.

Rewind to last Saturday, Josh and I were in the living room when we spotted a large raccoon about twice the size of The Lions walk up to my front door, stop, then walk back across the street and into the neighbor's yard.

"Maybe it's spraying to mark it's territory," I said.

"I like raccoons. I think they are cute and cuddly. I want one someday," Josh said.

Turns out the real reason was the raccoon sniffed out a big meal.

Luckily, I had some left over canned kitty food to feed them this morning so they won't ram their heads on our legs when we get home.

The raccoon has struck first, but believe me, The Lions and I will have our revenge. Beware, come to my house, you're stepping on a war zone...and I hope you like Raccoon Soup.